Homo Horoscopes

When was the last time you did something nice for your family? Since you’re emotionally stunted, give the gift of material goods. And don’t be thrifty either, you cheapskate. People will verify the amount you spent on them — ain’t the Internet grand?!

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Today’s Free Sample Reading: You’ve lived these lessons — now use them to transform your future! Try a free sample Karma Reading at Astrology.com.

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Your possessive tendencies are in overdrive. Try to ride it out. With a neck as fat as yours and an ass that requires two airline tickets, it’s no surprise you’d be so insecure about your latest obsession finding you attractive.

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Today’s Free Sample Reading: You’ve lived these lessons — now use them to transform your future! Try a free sample Karma Reading at Astrology.com.

Is it really over? Find out if he’ll come back with a Free Psychic Love Reading.

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You overly intellectualize everything (not that you’re smart or anything). Nevertheless, your emotions don’t evolve beyond the basics. If you let your feelings just morph naturally, you may stand a better chance of forming a relationship with a person or two.

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Today’s Free Sample Reading: You’ve lived these lessons — now use them to transform your future! Try a free sample Karma Reading at Astrology.com.

Is it really over? Find out if he’ll come back with a Free Psychic Love Reading.

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Rather than let yourself ricochet off the walls at a million miles per minute, take some time — slowly and deliberately — to calculate your next move, you hapless, hopeless freak. Avoid making the same mistakes over and over again.

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Today’s Free Sample Reading: You’ve lived these lessons — now use them to transform your future! Try a free sample Karma Reading at Astrology.com.

Is it really over? Find out if he’ll come back with a Free Psychic Love Reading.

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Enjoying a good meal is better when you have a clear understanding of the fat content and calories involved. So be sure to read up on the ingredients before you chow down. Not that you’d know where to find the nutritional information, you sad, sorry, fat cow.

More horoscopes! Check your: Daily Overview, Daily Single’s Love, Daily Work, Weekly Romantic, Monthly Fitness, more …

Today’s Free Sample Reading: You’ve lived these lessons — now use them to transform your future! Try a free sample Karma Reading at Astrology.com.

Is it really over? Find out if he’ll come back with a Free Psychic Love Reading.

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